If I don't get off my ass soon, the couch is going to form around my body and I will never again be able to fit into normal sized entry ways. I know there are many more traumatic scenarios to fear if this sofa becomes forever attached to my backside, but not being able to fit in doorways is at the top of that list, and it will likely happen if I do not get up SOON.
But I just started this blog entry, so tough luck butt. And I'm so coooooomfortable. And I haven't written in a very long time (except for that tipsy blurb about sandwiches and singing).
So, everything to do with the house is going really well, and I am scheduled to close at 1 p.m. on April 1st. I didn't think anything of it until someone asked, "You scheduled to close on a house on April Fools' Day?!" I may have totally screwed myself over. What if I go in and they're all like, "April Fools! You aren't buying a house at all!!! We made it all up!" or "April Fools! You just bought a lifetime supply of canned tuna!" or "April Fools! You just sold yourself to the devil!"
So, wish me luck on that endeavor. Until I get the key to the house in my hand I am NOT going to feel 100% satisfied that I am ACTUALLY the OWNER of a HOUSE.
What else have I been doing lately? Well, not much. Slowly forming a permanent impression of my arse into the couch cushions... that's what. It's awful. I have such a lack of motivation when I'm by myself. I never want to look like a lazy person in front of others, so at school I'm constantly go-go-go and at home when I have guests I'm never in the same room for more than ten minutes. I move around and keep busy, and I think a lot of it is insecurity. I hate lazy people, but here's the thing... I AM one.
My dad thinks I have Adult ADD. But if I had Adult ADD, would I be able to sit on a couch for this long? When I think about WHY I do it though, I think it's because when I finally get home I'm so overwhelmed by everything I need to accomplish for the rest of my awake hours that I shut down and slam myself down on a comfortable surface, never to move again until the sun goes down. So what do you think? Do I have it?
I'd love to hear some feedback from people who either 1) have ADD or ADHD, 2) have relationships with me and can verify or dismiss my connection with ADD or ADHD or 3) just feel like giving me their opinion even if I don't want or need it.
Here's the thing: maybe nothing is wrong with me and it's all in my head. I think I'm slowly becoming an mental hypochondriac. I've always wanted to know if I'm normal. But there really is no "normal" so what is the point in forever trying to figure out if I am or not?
Alright, so my topics are going all over. Possible a sign of ADD. Out of curiosity I looked up the characteristics of adult ADD. I'll comment on whether or not I think it fits a description of me:
The Adult with ADD (from www.ncsu.edu):
- May lose things such as keys, important papers, phone numbers etc on a regular basis.
- Ohmygosh YES. Every day. I've been through five phones in the past year I think (right, Joe?) and lose my keys at least once a day.
- May be forgetful in daily activities “I know there was something I was supposed to do!” or consistently forget to take out the trash, instructions from your partner, or picking the kids up from an activity.
- Hahaha, this is hilarious. I always forget to take out the trash. Like, almost every week until the bins are completely full and I can't fit anymore in them and then my mind officially clicks on and says: REMINDER: TAKE OUT TRASH.
- May consistently begin a task and not complete it. Maybe you start to cut the grass, go inside to get a drink, answer the phone, see there is a sporting event on TV, sit down and watch it and leave the lawn mower in the middle of the yard. Maybe you have a “workshop” with projects began with good intentions, all half finished.
- I have many things started. 1) My photography business I have yet to expand. 2) A number of videos my drama students are doing that I haven't finished editing. 3) Voice recordings of my grandparents' memories that I haven't completely typed up and documented yet 4) A Tale of Two Cities which I started about two months ago and read over the same page when I get the chance and then set it down and forget about it. 4) I want to be a write but I NEVER finish stories unless it is for a grade or someone has given me a deadline. 5) I HATE routine and so I'll start the dishes, then go into the living room and vacuum in there for a bit, then move upstairs and put half my clothes away, then move to another room, etc.
- May have a problem following conversations. Maybe your wife/girlfriend/partner talks to you and always complains that you never listen. Maybe you are always wondering when someone told you something when they say “Don’t you remember I told you about this last week.” Maybe you miss deadlines at work or hand in something irrelevant because you only heard half the conversation.
- My friends and boyfriend can let me know about this. Have I gotten any better? I think I learned about active listening and now I'll say things like, "Wow" and "That's crazy" and really I'll have no idea what they are saying to me. It's really hard for me to pay attention if there is something more important going on in my head.
- May be difficult to motivate yourself to begin a project. “Oh sure, that sounds great, I’ll get started on it, well, maybe tomorrow!” A project that doesn’t instantly sound great and exciting may continually be placed on hold, making you look lazy.
- I am the queen of procrastination, but aren't we all? I don't know many people that don't do some things last minute. But in college, I would wait until the night before to write a ten page paper, freak myself out about it, but get an A anyways. I work better under pressure, and I've trained myself to do so, but the problem is that now I don't know how to work when I'm NOT under pressure.
- May have difficulty following a timed schedule. Misjudging time can create havoc in any schedule. Either you begin with an unrealistic schedule, allowing too much or too little time for each activity, or you can’t follow the schedule because you forgot about the time and just spend 3 hours on an activity that should have taken 20 minutes.
- I tend to take on way too many tasks, and then get so overwhelmed that I panic and have a shutdown period. I think this whole WINTER was my shutdown period at home. At school I put so much energy into everything and it's hard to slow down, so when I get home I become Sloth Woman.
So what do you think? I think a lot of people could be diagnosed with ADD because I think all of us have some of these traits. Am I an extreme case or am I just too analytical?
Let me know.
Peace,
Kelly
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