The beauty of living alone.

I've never lived alone before. It has its advantages. Here is a list of things I can now do without a judging eye upon me:

• Walk around in super short shorts when it's hot and not feel like a floozy.
• Eat an enormous amount of chocolates and throw the wrappers directly on the floor (to be picked up later, of course).
• Use three separate bathrooms for the sole reason that I have three bathrooms and I can.
• Play Motown music really loud and dance with the dish washing brush.
• Fart. All the time.
• Say all my thoughts aloud rather than hold my tongue for politeness.
• Leave the same load of clean clothes in the dryer all week long (Sorry, past roomies, I guess I did that when I lived with you, too).
• Invest a ridiculous amount of time simply walking around my house and staring at at the pretty things I've hung on the walls.
• Blast This American Life episodes from my speakers while I clean.
• Cuss as much and as loud as I want when I stub my pinkie toe on the bathroom door.
• Nap for a long-ass time in the middle of the day and not feel like a drooling sloth on someone else's couch.
• Forget to take the trash out to the curb... two weeks in a row (I see illegal dumping in my future).
• Run and hide from the front door when a Mormon or a fat Boy Scout tries to sell me religious propaganda or popcorn.
• Open the refrigerator every half hour and just stare at it.
• Eat an entire yellow squash, uncut, while dipping it in ranch dressing and reading a book on the couch.
• Rub lotion all over my legs and body in any room in the house and quote Silence of the Lambs while I do it (i.e. "It rubs the lotion on its skin... or else it gets the hose again!!!").
• Sing. All the time.
• Stay up way past my bedtime writing silly things like this.

P.S. I do have to add that I do all of this in front of my boyfriend when he's over, so he's the exception. He puts up with it. I've trained him well.