Sunday, October 18, 2009

Reality check.

Rough day on Friday. Certain things happened which reminded me that I do, in fact, teach in a rough area of the city. One was the fact that there was a shooting in the neighborhood across from the school.

There were also a couple incidents where students came to me with some personal information about their lives, situations that would have been very unlikely to occur at the school I went to when I was their age.

There was also a brawl on the third floor.

Reality check, for sure.

To top off the hell-of-a-day, I also had a student whose mother was killed in a fatal car accident the night before. She came in to talk to some of her teachers and turn some of her work in. This is a student who now comes in and eats lunch in my room every day, and to see her in that state was pretty upsetting.

I guess you can say I was a bit down.

I love where I teach, though. After the word spread about this student's death-in-the-family, a number of staff gave some money to me for a flower fund, so we could send the family some sympathy flowers. Students around the school also wanted to do something, and I think there are several plans taking place to help and comfort the student during this time of loss.

Of the two students who came to me about some tough situations they were experiencing, one is very active in the student council in our school and the other was asking me to also look over a poem for a poetry contest he was interested in. It was great to see that they weren't letting their obstacles keep them from being active participants in the school.

Also, this year especially, I feel like there is a pretty positive aura being given off in the building. I don't know if it's from the change in staff, the improved structure and organization, the growth in school pride, or the fact that it just overall feels more like a community. Whatever it is, I'm glad I stayed.

Last year was very difficult for me. I was a naive, first-year teacher flying in from the outskirts of suburbia to come in and bond with, inspire, and educate students with very different lives from my own. I was given a pretty heavy schedule for my first year of teaching, and also was put with a tough group of middle schoolers who DEFINITELY made me feel new to the building. At one point last year, some tables crashed to the floor in the middle of a lesson because students were slowly removing the bolts from them as I spoke. I also had some expletives written on my door in permanent marker. One day, I also had a student run around the class while jumping on top of tables and leaping over chairs as if the room was an obstacle course personally set up for his entertainment.

Halfway through the year, I wasn't sure if I could do it anymore.

But I'm back, and better, and a little more prepared for the surprises that may pop up on a daily basis. The students who acted like they couldn't stand me last year are now the ones who say hello in the hallway and stop in my room during passing period for no specific reason. I'm in a much better mental state, and I've been able to invest some of my time into some school-wide projects that have caught some student interest. I also have a great schedule this year. I can invest all of my teaching energy into my one 8th grade Language Arts class, and the rest of my time is spent as the Learning Center Coordinator. We get 100+ tutors from the surrounding community, and I get to match up and create one-on-one tutoring situations, and see to it that the students seeking help are getting it, and getting it in a productive way.

I know in my "Blaaaaah" entry that I sound exhausted, and yes, sometimes I am. But it is a different state of exhaustion than it was last year. Last year it was a coming-home-and-falling-on-the-couch-and-sobbing sort of exhaustion, and this year it is just the coming-home-and-sighing type of exhaustion. MUCH better.

So, while I definitely have days like I did Friday, it is hard to stay down in the dumps for too long because there is just so much positive I can find throughout the school. As I said ealier, I'm glad I stayed.


No comments: